The Disgraced and the Graced: A Photo Story: My Pal B

September 2, 2013
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  • 135 personally hand written hard copy letters from Bernie to me
  • 150 phone calls to my personal unlisted phone”
  • 735 emails
  • 12 round-trip visits approved by BOP. That’s 10,320 miles with an average visit usually lasting 3 hours at the most…
Anyone who has ever cared for any inmate will tell you it takes a special effort; snail mail, waiting for phone calls, letters, emails, visiting days, travel, same hotel room, season after season, day after day, waiting and more waiting until release. You never truly enjoy one moment because he’s “in there”. It’s one act of love and support after another; one day at a time..sometimes, it’s a minute at a time..

Now he’s released and wants “to be left alone”, literally threatening to “destroy my life” in the process. You’re welcome. No problem. Don’t flatter yourself too much…

There’s not much that is tangible left to show for all of it, actually; only the extraordinary memories and the imprint it makes on your soul; bad and good, up and down, lessons learned…beginning to end….

So I bid final goodbye to the “Hey You”, beautiful long rides that lead to you, E3 coffee, purple plastic chairs, all our words, the intimate signature bxo, waiting all day for that 3-minute phone call, the commissary Drakkar noire cologne on my letters and the “M” Mariah perfume on his……. Hello to healing and rebuilding the life I neglected to support his. Ironic. 

Wednesday, 09/04/13 is Bernie’s 58th birthday. It is meant to be what it is and whatever remains….