I’ve had several media inquiries today so I thought I would post an update. Today would have been a very special day for Bernie, me, his family and friends. Today is the day Bernie was scheduled to have his home confinement completed with the removal of the anklet monitoring. It was a landmark day Bernie and I had spoken of often, especially on those tough days we shared when he reached out to me from prison for support. (If it’s your first time to my blog, Welcome. My past three posts should tell most of the story.) Today was the day we were going toast each other with apple martinis, launch the new website, Twitter, Facebook and celebrate the republishing of “The Lost Son”. We were going to taste liberty together as everyone knows those who love a prisoner do the time with them.
That humble, repentant, thoughtful Bernie, I knew over the last three years, has vanished or never really existed at all. As you may have surmised from previous posts, today has been an emotional day for me, of course. After all the hurt, pain, threats and heartache, I almost can’t remember any good in our relationship. That is the saddest and more regretful part of all. To be completely honest, I suppose after investing everything I had in Bernie, I feel incomplete and almost confused not participating in the obvious celebration of the day after sharing the anticipation with Bernie for three years.
I have lost a great deal, (career-wise & financially to the tune of about $93,000) but I have gained a great deal too (lessons, strength, time). Every day of the last three months has been very difficult but I am managing. Certainly there are others far worse off in this country.
Bernard Kerik and his evil-doer thug friends, did, indeed, accomplish his directed threat to “destroy my life”. However, I take responsibility for my decisions and actions in this relationship; something he has never done. I truly believe I am being sent where I need to go. It is only unfortunate Bernard Kerik is not gentleman enough or human enough to step up, make financial restitution and respectful amends and/or personally apologize for all he has manipulated, destroyed and scammed in my life. So when you see Bernard Kerik, do ask him if he has made amends to that generous, kind, gracious woman he announced from prison he missed and would love and respect “forever”…(ok, and try to keep a straight face if he responds with, “which one is that?”…Yes, my sense of humor is intact..Thank God!)
There are blessings in the lesson. I know better so I do better. I am cognizant I am not the only woman Bernard Kerik has used and abused in his life. There may be more just like me he will groom, manipulate and take for his selfish satisfaction. After all, Bernard Kerik cheated, lied and deceived his country, government and wife, so why am I surprised? I am continuing to heal and learn lessons. I am also vigorously pursuing the real possibility of a civil suit to recoup the financial loss I submit was swindled and manipulated from me under what is now known as false pretenses. However, there are, unfortunately, no reparations on heartache.
Certainly, the day is not as I would have imagined it to be but I believe it is certainly meant to be exactly what it is…..
If you believe Bernard Kerik has Changed, You’re an Actor, Psychotic or Aren’t Paying Much Attention! Bernard Kerik had the perfect opportunity, out of prison, to choose a life without lies, deception and manipulation. In my experience and opinion, not even Federal Prison convinced Bernard Kerik to change! It’s so regretful and sad. It could have been the most triumphant comeback of all time….
I wish to thank those who contacted me today to comfort and wish me well. It is appreciated more than you know…